Doctor - Patient 3

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Patient: Doctor, doctor, I've just swallowed the film from my camera.
Doctor: Well, let's hope nothing develops.

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing double.
Doctor: Take a seat please.
Patient: Which one?

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, and I keep losing my temper with people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I JUST DID, DIDN'T I, YOU STUPID IDIOT!

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs.
Doctor: I know we had to cut off your arms.

Doctor: Face the window, would you? Now stick out your tongue.
Patient: But - Why am I facing the window?
Doctor: Because I don't like the man next door.

Patient: Doctor, why did the receptionist rush out of the room screaming?
Doctor: When she asked you to strip to the waist ready for my examination she meant you to strip from the neck down, not from the toes up!

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think I must be invisible. Everyone ignores me.
Doctor: Next, please.

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep stealing things. Can you give me something for it?
Doctor: 'Try these pills. And if they don't work, bring me back a DVD player.

Doctor: Well, Mr Jones, I can't find anything wrong with you. It must be the drink.
Patient: Okay, Doctor, I'll come back in the morning when you're sober.
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