Jokes - Man and Nature

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The Cat Came Back
A man hates his wife's cat so much he drives to the next town and dumps it. When he gets home, it's there.
Next day he drives 50 miles and dumps it. When he gets home, it's there.
So the next day he drives to the other side of the country and dumps it. One hour later he rings his wife and asks, "Is the cat home?"
"Yes, why?" asks his wife.
"Put the pussy on," he says, "I'm fucking lost."


Not Circus Good!
A man decides to join the circus. He shows up to demonstrate his skills to the impresario. 'I have the most unusual act, ' he announces. 'I'm sure it will amaze you.'
He proceeds to climb a tall tower, and jumps off. He flaps his arms wildly, and finally his fall slows. He soars forward, then swoops upward, turns and swoops back again. Finally he stops in mid air and gently lowers himself to the ground.
The impresario stares blankly at him for a long time. Finally he says, 'Is that all you've got? Bird imitations?'


Why White Man? Why?
An old Indian Chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two U.S. government officials sent to interview him.
"Chief Two Eagles," asked one official, "you have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his material wealth. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."
The chief nodded in agreement.
The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"
The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied, "When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all the work, medicine man free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, all night having sex..." Then the chief leaned back and smiled. "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."
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