Jokes - Deep 'One-liner' Thoughts

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How come we only have two candidates to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

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I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

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Support bacteria....they're the only culture some people have.

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Retirement: That marvelous time in life when the sun rises and you don't.

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A penny saved is a government oversight.

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The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

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Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

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If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.

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The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.

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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
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