Coffee Jokes 1

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Weak Coffee
While traveling through Antigo, a man and his wife stop in a local restaurant for a brief respite from driving. The man orders 2 cups of coffee; the husband and wife taste it and both grimaced at one another. Looking around, the man than notices a sign above the counter that says: "Don't knock our coffee; you too will be old and weak someday."

Freedie was Fired
Freddie was eighteen years old, friendly, and eager to do things right. Unfortunately, he wasn't especially bright. He had just started his first job, as a delivery boy and general go-for at a furniture warehouse. His first task was to go out for coffee. He walked into a nearby coffee shop carrying a large thermos. When the counterman finally noticed him, he held up the thermos.
"Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" he said.
The counterman looked at the thermos, hesitated for a few seconds, then finally said, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me."
"Good," Freddie said. "Give me two regular, two black, and two decaf."

A Hot, Burning Sensation
A lady came into the kitchen, sat down at the table, leaned forward, put her head in her hands and said to her husband "Honey, I feel terrible! My head hurts; my back's killing me and my left breast just burns and burns."
He said "I'm gonna help you, Dear. I'll get you some aspirins for the headache, I'll rub your back with Myoflex, and if you'll sit up and get your breast out of the coffee, it'll stop burning!"

He Didn't Say it was Optional
Cousin Elly is the world's worst when it comes to receiving instructions. When she got married her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers. It had all the latest gadgets on it. Salesman Riley carefully explained how everything worked; how to turn it on, add the water, the coffee, “And the great thing is,” he added, “once you’ve done all that, you just set the timer, go to bed, and in the morning you’ve got coffee.”
A few weeks later Elly was back in the store and Riley asked her how she liked the coffee maker. "Wonderful!" she replied, "However, there's one thing I don't understand. Why do I have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee?"
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