Bar Jokes 2

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A drunk stumbles out a bar late one night and starts walking home! 1 foot on the curb...1 foot on the street...1 on the curb...1 on the street! A police officer walk up to him and says "HEY...YOU DRUNK?" The Drunk looks at him and says" Thank God...I thought I was Cripple"

A guy walks into a bar and demands to know "Who's the strongest in here?" The toughest guy looks at him and says "I am the strongest around here!" The other guy politely asks "Can you help me push my car to the gas station?"

Drunken Prayer
Our Lager, Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
and lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever,
Barmen.
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