Mother-in-Law Jokes

A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night and told him "there is a burglar downstairs in the kitchen and he is eating the cake that my mother made for us."The husband said, "who shall I call, the police or an ambulance?"

Man 1: I was sorry to hear that your mother-in-law died. What was the complaint?
Man 2: We haven't had any yet.

Man 1: Oh, I am sorry to hear you buried your mother-in-law last week.
Man 2: Had to... she was dead.

A man who hated his mother-in-law got three wishes from a genie.Genie: "Whatever you wish for, your mother-in-law gets DOUBLE."
First wish: "I would like one billion dollars."
Genie: "Ok but mom get's two billion."
Second wish: "I would like an island off the coast of Greece."
Genie: "OK but mom get's two islands."
Third wish: " I would like you to beat me half to death."

My mother-in-law showed up today... I knew it was her, when she knocked on the front door all the mice threw themselves on the traps!

What's the definition of mixed emotions? When you see your new mother-in law backing off a cliff in your new Mercedes.

I gave my mother-in-law a waterproof, shockproof, anti-magnetic, unbreakable watch. She went and lost it.

Did you hear the one about the cannibal who got married, and at the wedding reception, toasted his mother-in-law?

Two cannibals just finished a big meal and one turns to the other while rubbing his stomach and says, "You know, I just ate my mother-in-law, and she still doesn't agree with me!"
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