Dictionary for Men

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Here's what women really mean when they say:
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Don’t worry about it, I got it: Cringe if a woman says this. It means that she has already asked you several times to do something, but has given up hope and is now doing it herself. This phrase invariably leads to a man being forced to ask ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to ‘nothing’ below.

Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half-hour. Five minutes really means five minutes only if she’s just given you five more minutes to watch the game before helping with ‘chores.’

Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission; do ‘it’ at your own risk!

Loud Sigh: A loud sigh from any woman should be interpreted as a word; it means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing (see below for definition of ‘nothing’).

Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes.

Thanks: If a woman says thanks, pay particular attention to the tone she has used; if there was absolutely no trace of sarcasm, simply say “you’re welcome,” and nothing else. If you detected even the slightest hint of sarcasm then don’t say anything at all, or you may get a ‘whatever’ (see below).

That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statement a woman can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying F*** YOU!
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