Bar Jokes 1

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Did you hear about the dyslexic man who walked into a bra...


A man walks into a bar! ouch!!!


A man walks into a bar and asks, 'Do you serve women in this bar?'
'No,' replies the barman, 'you have to bring your own.'


A man went into a bar after work and ordered a beer. As he started drinking his beer, he heard a female voise saying seductively, 'You've got nice hair'.
The man looked all around him but couldn't see where the voice came from. A minute later he heard the same voice saying, 'You are a handsome man.' The man was really puzzled by this so he asked the barman what was going on.
The barman replied, 'It's the nuts - they're complimentary.'


A man walks into a bar and asks the barman, 'Was I in here last night?'
'You certainly were,' replies the barman.
'And did I spend a lot of money?'
'You spent over $300, replies the barman.
'Thank god for that,' says the man, 'I thought I'd lost it.'


A guy runs in a bar and he asks the bartender for 24 shots of his finest whisky. When the bartender has poured the shots the guy drinks them down as fast as possible. The bartender says "wow I've never seen anyone drink that fast before" and the guy says "You would to if you had what I had" and the bartender says "What is it you have?" And the guy says "25 cents" and runs out of the bar.


This guy walks into a bar, carrying a crocodile and a chicken. He sets them down on the stool next to him, and says to the (uncertain-looking) bartender "I'll have a Scotch and Soda."
Then the crocodile says "And I'll have a Whiskey Sour."
The (dumbfounded) bartender gasps "That's incredible; I've never seen a crocodile that could talk!"
And the guy says "He can't; the chicken is a ventriloquist."
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