Red Neck Jokes 2

You might be a redneck if...

• Your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
• Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
• Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
• Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
• You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
• You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
• Your home has more miles on it than your car.
  The taillight covers of your car are made of tape.
• Your car has never had a full tank of gas.
• Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.
• You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
• You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
• Your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
• Your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
• You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
• More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
• You think the stock market has a fence around it.
• You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
• You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.